Emo breaks into mainstream with some controversy

by Kurt Flores
Online Editor

Once an underground phenomenon, Emo (short for Emotional) has broken into the mainstream over the past year. It is getting so big that even the pure style of dressing Emo has come into controversy.

Many people will say that to look Emo all you have to do is buy some old shirts, short pants and be depressed. But being Emo takes much more than this. There are different styles of Emo music, and different ways to dress. After doing a few internet searches, I have compiled a list of things you need in order to consider yourself Emo. As one website put it, “You have to be seen to be scene.”

How to dress: First off, stop combing you hair. Your hair has to be messy and look like you just rolled out of bed, probably because you were so depressed you didn’t want to face the world, right? Your hair will especially look good if you let the bangs grow and keep the rest short and messy. As far and piercings and jewelry go, the more the better. The black-rimmed nerdy glasses are optional. If you have them, great, if not, don’t worry about it. Tight, faded T-shirts with random slogans are important.

Now this next step is key. The T-shirts have to look like you would have bought them at a thrift store, but didn’t (but actually did). Band tees also work good, as long as they are tight and too short. Pants should also have that thrift store look, and should be too short so they accent that worn out pair of Chuck Taylors. Remember those sweaters of grandpa’s that you would never be caught dead wearing? Well dig ’em out. That’s what you will be wearing when it’s cold outside. Denim or corduroy jackets also work if you can’t decide on what ugly sweater to pick out.

As for accessories, messenger bags work only if they’re covered in pins and patches that you say you bought at shows (but you really bought them at Hot Topic).

Remember, the pins go only on the shoulder strap. Scarves are Emo. But make sure that the scarf has that thrift store look. Another important aspect is that you have to be very skinny. That is why most Emo kids are vegan (vegetarian.) You can’t consider yourself a full-fledged Emo kid until you’re skinny.

How to act: Now that you have the dress part down, all you have to do now is act the part. Be sure to become a regular on Emo bands’ message boards. Be sure to start you very own blog site, where you will post deep thoughts, poems and things that are bugging your everyday life. Also, put pictures of yourself on it. Make sure the pictures are taken from above you and your head is turned so only your ear or eye and part of your hair shows. Then Photoshop them to blur them even more. This way it looks like you didn’t take the pictures with a digital camera.

When your non-Emo friends ask you about being Emo, give a different answer every time to sound secretive and mysterious.

Name drop what bands you listen to, and try to share your music with as many people as you can. Get really angry when they don’t like it, and get really mad when they do like it and try to share it with other people.

Mix-tapes: Probably the most important aspect of being Emo. Giving a girl a mix-tape is like giving her your heart. Name the mix-tape after her, complete with all the songs that remind you of her. Note that these are mix-TAPES, not burned CDRs. What girl wouldn’t shed a tear for an hour long tape full of emotional songs with her name penciled on the label.

Got it? Good. You’re now ready to jump on the Emo bandwagon.

Be careful, nobody becomes Emo overnight. Try searching for even more tips on how to become the epitome of Emo. Make sure to look for the Emo test, this way you can see how emotional you really are.

Now grab your messenger bag, head to the thrift store, and be sure to turn your ex’s mix-tape up to 10.