Don't bother wrapping your mind around 'Twisted' plot

by Jared Duncan
A&E editor

So "The Passion of the Christ" was sold out, eh? Why not see "Twisted", which is playing in the next theater? That seems to be the only reason this relatively unknown crime "thriller" made enough money to earn the number three spot at the weekend box office.

"Twisted" centers around Jessica Shepard, played by Ashley Judd, who is reprising her role from almost every other movie she's starred in as the female protagonist who ends up pointing a loaded gun at someone, and in this case,multiple someone's. When Jessica was just a little girl, her father went on a killing spree, ultimately turning the gun on her mother and then himself. His partner, John Mills (Samuel L. Jackson) takes young Jessica under his wing, and raises her while teaching her everything there is to know about being a cop.

Fast forward quite a few years, and Jessica is now a grown woman who has just been promoted to homicide detective. A few nights later, she has a few glasses of wine before passing out. She awakens to a call from her new partner Mike Delmarco (Andy Garcia) informing her that they've been handed their first case. Jessica soon finds that the victim of a brutal beating/homicide is a former lover of hers. The pair toss the evidence around, coming up with no leads. A few nights later, the same thing happens, blackout and all. Jessica discovers that this victim is also another lover, whose only memorable feature is a tattoo on his hand. Along with the tattoo is a cigarette burn on the back of his hand, just like the last body. The murders continue, sharing two common factors: Jessica's former lovers (she does a lot of sleeping around), and the cigarette burns. With the constant blackouts, and absence of leads, could the killer be right under Jessica's nose, or could it be Jessica herself?

If this film had to be summed up in 3 words, they would be Z, Z, and Z. Honestly, this thing has slower pacing than a two legged horse hopped up on morphine. First problem: this "thriller" is missing the "thrill" part. The killer is easy to spot less than halfway through the film, and even those in the audience who didn't guess it, the identity of the murderer evokes a "ho-hum" feeling.

One of the obvious signs is how the real killer disappears from the film for over 25 minutes, so that the audience will forget about them. During this time, screenwriter Sarah Thorp takes full advantage by throwing every possible suspect at the audience, only to have them eliminated. This technique, which is supposed to keep us white-knuckled and guessing, fails miserably, mainly due to pacing, but also to poor character development. Bringing me to problem number two: Characters and casting.

The film spends so much time trying to throw its audience curve-balls that it never has time to divulge into deeper motives behind the actions of the characters. Not that the cast gives us any reason to care. Samuel L. Jackson's career and skill have shifted into neutral, waiting for Tarantino's next script to roll around (watch out for Jackson in April's "Kill Bill Vol. II). Ashley Judd has played this role a thousand times over, only this time she steps in as a bad girl from the beginning, as opposed to the victim turned protagonist roles she has done in the past. I understand that, like Meg Ryan, she wants to shed her cute-as-a-button persona, but there has to be a better way they can go about it than the paths they have chosen (see also: "In the Cut", "Against the Ropes"). And Andy Garcia. Why is this guy famous? He has not won a major award nor had any memorable roles, unless you count his tango with "The Godfather" series, and even then, it was part III. Both Andy Garcia and Paris Hilton need to justify their existence, or get out of Hollywood.

The high point of the movie comes from the directing style of Philip Kaufman, who incorporates a quiet and serene early morning fog better than "House of Sand and Fog" ever could. Unfortunately, after the opening sequence, Kaufman seems to just go through the motions with his shooting method. With all the elements stacked against it, it's difficult to understand how this film even cracked the box office top 5. But, if you're in the mood for something lighter than "The Passion", or wishing to pay money for a 90 minute nap, "Twisted" is now playing at the Southgate Four Theater.